Candide

I lost my job recently. Stressful. Especially at 54.

So I dusted off my résumé. I wanted to just say I build cool shit. And I’m good at it. So hire me. But that’s not how it works. You have to use a lot of buzzwords. Make it sound fancy. Grandiose. I’m an important person.

Then I had to visit LinkedIn. To post my proclamation of greatness. And turn on the green “Open to Work” badge. The modern-day scarlet letter. Just a different color.

LinkedIn can be agonizing. It’s a never-ending stream of braggadocio. People getting hired in grandiose roles. Selling their companies for millions. And they’re all so humbled to announce it. I’m pretty sure that’s not how humility works.

And when someone does share something bad, it’s quickly covered with a shroud of forced optimism. My layoff was a gift. Rejection taught me resilience. I learned so much from my failures. I’m so grateful for this journey. Everything happens for a reason.

Don’t get me wrong. I get it. There’s truth in all of that. I’m not against optimism.

But sometimes shit just happens.

It reminds me of Candide. A cutting satire written hundreds of years ago by Voltaire. Candide was the main guy. And Pangloss was his eternally optimistic travel companion. They got kicked out of their castle. And set off on a journey where they saw terrible things. Like the Inquisition. And wars. And disease. Yet Pangloss kept saying everything works out for good. Everything happens for a reason. It’s the best of all possible worlds.

I think Pangloss would love LinkedIn.

While I scroll through this showcase of great accomplishment and optimism, another email lands in my inbox. “At this time, we have decided to move forward with other candidates.”

Looking for a job sucks.

The worst part is wondering if the world has a place for me in it anymore.

The job carries more of my self-worth than I’d like to admit. It’s a lot more load-bearing than it should be. But I think that’s because I sometimes believe what I see on LinkedIn. And think it all happens for a reason.

Ecclesiastes says "the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all."

The universe isn’t always fair. Things don’t always happen for a reason. Some would say that’s pessimistic. I would disagree. It’s liberating.

It’s permission to get off the treadmill and just enjoy my lot in life.

So shut up Pangloss. Nobody wants to hear it.